Bottomless Drawers

Early in our relationship, Monica proposed the metaphor of a “bottomless drawer”.

When there is an issue of concern … or a fear … or a suspicion, instead of stacking it into a teetering pile known to only one of us, it is brought into the open.  We look at the concern, fear, or suspicion together; we talk about it; we resolve it to mutual satisfaction; and then we “put it in the drawer”.

What is the drawer?  The drawer is a phantom place in a bureau, the sort of drawer that might hold unpaid bills or aging photographs or unwanted heirlooms in a normal home.  But this drawer has no bottom.  This drawer falls to infinity.

We talk about the worry.  We place it in the drawer.  The worry flutters away into the abyss, and we never have to worry about it, ever again.

She and I also have a tradition of toasting celebrations.  This predates our intimacy, and we each admire the other’s toasts immensely.  After a night of multiple stressors, we listed four items and tossed them into the void.  We opened a much-appreciated bottle of saké, and I took the toast for the evening.

“To bottomless drawers,” I said.  “They defy real physics but define real relationships.”  She approved.

I love you, Penguie.  Here’s to bottomless drawers.

The Theft of Eostre

One of my favorite words is “syncretism”.  It means the amalgamation, or attempted amalgamation, of different religions or schools of thought — especially when the merger is incomplete.  One sees this at numerous points in the Christian ecclesiastical calendar, but never more apparently than with Easter.

So what’s with Easter?

To the pagan Norse, “Eostre” was the name of a goddess of the dawn.  In north-western Europe, where there are bitter winters, the “Festival of Eostre” would be held in the springtime to celebrate the annual rebirth of the world.  That which had lain dormant for months was coming back to life: animals were being born; trees and flowers were starting to grow again; the days were getting ever longer.  Totems of birth — eggs and rabbits for their symbolism of fertility and fecundity — were celebrated.

Cultural traditions and rituals are very hard to change.  It’s tough to get people to give up their rituals.  It’s easier to get them to substitute one object of their worship for another, but keep the trimmings.  And this happened with Easter.

Christianity came in as a massively successful Mediterranean Mystery Religion with a god-man who is killed and reborn.  His resurrection was a deeply important part of the religion’s memeplex.  So, the Christians got the Western Europeans to start celebrating it, with a couple of minor changes.  For instance, instead of celebrating it on the first full moon after the vernal equinox, they started celebrating it on the first Sunday after the … first full moon following the vernal equinox.  That’s the calculation of Easter to this day, based on sun-worship and a lunar calendar, and explains why Jesus dies and is reborn on a different date each year.

They made some other changes.  For instance, they decided to ditch the bunnies and the eggs, because using symbols of sex in a liturgical holiday was unseemly.  Also, they changed the name: you can’t really have the name of a pagan goddess for your celebration.  Third, they totally played down the symbolism of the rebirth of their man-god being the rebirth of the world itself.

Actually, I may be entirely wrong about that last paragraph.  They may have made none of those changes.

Perhaps Eddie Izzard said it best, in the role of the Holy Ghost, criticizing Jesus for dying and rising at Easter: “If people don’t figure out that’s pagan, I’m just going to eat my hat!”

Happy Stolen-Pagan-Fertility-Festival.  And have courage, little bunnies.  You may yet escape.

Have you seen my package?

FedEx shows a package having been delivered to me, at work, over the weekend.  Monday, I go looking for it.  I start by asking Amy if she’s seen my FedEx package:

Amy:  “No, but ask Kimberly.”

Me (after walking):  “Kimberly, have you seen my FedEx package?”

Kimberly:  “No, but ask Liz.”

Me (after walking):  “Liz, have you seen my FedEx package?”

Liz:  “No, but ask Alex.”

Me (after walking):  “Alex, have you seen my FedEx package?”

Alex:  “No, but ask Catherine.”

Me (after walking):  “Catherine, have you seen my FedEx package?”

Catherine:  “Yes!  I left it on your desk!  You didn’t see it?!”

I … hadn’t seen it.  It was on my desk.

Occupy The Mailbox

My brother and some others have started a project called Occupy The Mailbox that aims to have visitors to Occupy Wall Street write traditional letters to their friends and family, and gives them the opportunity to have them published to the site.

Follow that link, and also follow @OccupyMailbox for updates.

Nerdiversary!

Nerdiversary!  I started playing the game Magic: The Gathering 18 years ago today — and I still play weekly.  I must celebrate.  Celebrate my Magic-geekiness reaching majority.  Take it to the UK and buy it a beer or something. ;-)

You scoff or chortle?  The game’s mechanics taught me important concepts of computer science, early and well.  Learning to trade was a better immersion in economic theory than any Intro to Econ class ever created.  Group play taught me lessons in game theory that I still mentally refer to.  Selling a binder of cards bought me the computer on which I taught myself to program, and that led to a career.  And the draw to play the game got me out of my bedroom and forced a socially-awkward and introverted kid out into the world.

Have I taught Niall this game?  You bet I have!  And he loves it.  Here’s to another 18 years of this fantastic game entertaining, educating, and inspiring people.

It’s as if we wear uniforms

I was playing Magic at my local gaming store tonight, and had the following exchange:

Me:  “Do you have an extra Endless Ranks of the Dead?”

Opponent, pointing at a drafting table:  “No, but ask John.”

Me:  “Which one’s John?”

Opponent:  “The guy in black.”

Me, seeing five:  “That … doesn’t really narrow it down.”

Opponent:  “In the black sweatshirt.”

Me, seeing three:  “…”

Opponent:  “Sitting next to the guy in the red shirt.”

Me, seeing two:  “…”

Opponent:  “With the beard.”

Me:  “Oh, him.  Thanks”

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