Pan Perdu

Timeline for ordering pizza from Pizza Hut tonight:

18:10  Place order at pizzahut.com for pizza delivery at 19:00.

18:50  Friend Nathan arrives, hungry.

19:00  Pizza fails to show up.

19:15  Pizza continues to fail to show up.

19:30  Call pizza restaurant.  Have the following exchange:

Employee:  “Hi, thank you for calling Pizza Hut.  This is Krysdgasdl (phonetically).  Will this order be for delivery or carryout?

Me:  “Actually I’m checking on an order status.  This is Joshua at [address].”

Krysdgasdl:  “Oh, that order’s out already.”

Me:  “That means that the pizza’s been made, has left the store, and the delivery guy is on his way?”  (Yes, I honestly asked the question just like this.)

Krysdgasdl:  “Yes, it should be there soon.”

19:45  No pizza.

20:00  No.  Fucking.  Pizza.  For real.

20:15  Call pizza restaurant.  Have the following exchange:

Krysdgasdl:  “Hi, thank you for calling Pizza Hut.  This is Krysdgasdl.  Will this order be for delivery or carryout?”

Me:  “I’m checking on the status of an order.  This is Joshua at [address] again.”

Krysdgasdl:  “What?”

Me:  “This is Joshua McGee at [full address].  I called before?”

Krysdgasdl:  “Oh, yeah.  You’re Josh?”

Me:  “Yes.”

Krysdgasdl:  “Umm … that order was cancelled.”

Me:  “Excuse me?”

Krysdgasdl:  “It’s showing here as cancelled.”

Me:  “…”

Krysdgasdl:  “Oh, I think I know what happened!”

Me:  “Yes?”

Krysdgasdl:  “We ran out of pan crust, so we cancelled your order.  Would you like to place an order with another kind of crust?”

Me:  “Well … you … you could have called me!”

Krysdgasdl:  “I’m really sorry.  We could discount the pizza.”

Me:  “No, cancel it.  We’re going out.”

Krysdgasdl:  “Is there anything else I can do?”

Me:  “No, you’ve been very helpful.  Thank you.”