The excellent humor blog at MumblingNerd had a post collecting jokes of the format “My wife’s gone to….”  They are of the following template:

“My wife’s gone to the Caribbean.”
“Jamaica?”
“No, she went of her own accord.”

This old joke, by the way, is the origin of the title of Led Zeppelin’s 1973 pseudo-Reggae song “D’yer Mak’er”.  In the accent in which they spoke, this is pronounced how I would say “Jer-MAKE-er”, which is how they pronounce “Jamaica”.  Languages are funny, aren’t they?

I didn’t know this was a format of a class of jokes, though.  Some of my favorites that he put up:

‘My wife went to a music concert in South Korea’ ~ ‘Seoul?’ ~ ‘No, it was R&B’

‘My wife bought a house in Sweden’ ~ ‘Stockholm?’ ~ ‘No, it was custom-built’

‘My wife’s on holiday just south of London’ ~ ‘Surrey?’ ~ ‘I SAID, MY WIFE’S ON HOLIDAY JUST SOUTH OF LONDON!’

I loved the idea, and made a few of my own:

“My wife’s not going to her conference in the South of England.”
“Kent?”
“No, she just refuses.”

“My wife used to maintain aircraft weapons systems when she was serving in India.”
“Bombay?”
“No, mostly machine gun turrets.”

“My wife’s gone to open a restaurant in India.”
“Delhi?”
“No, a diner.”

“My wife’s gone to sculpt a topiary at an embassy in Russia.”
“Moscow?”
“No, an evergreen giraffe.”

“My wife’s gone to open a toy factory in Nigeria.”
“Lagos?”
“No, Tinker Toys.”

Perhaps too weak:

“My wife’s gone to teach in rural Norway.”
“Hell?”
“Yeah, she doesn’t particularly like it, but that would be overstating it.”

This town in Canada, and the capital of Thailand, are left as exercises for the reader.  Private exercises.

Tue, 25 Jan 2011 00:55:52 +0000
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