When I was a kid, we outcast-feeling geek kids who had no luck with or understanding of girls related to the characters in Stand By Me.  Not only am I sure that kids these days can relate, too, but there’s an entirely new level to it, thinking about the actors.

So, kids, listen up:

The four boys in the film were played by River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, Wil Wheaton, and Jerry O’Connell.  Growing up, the “popular girls” I knew thought River dark and mysterious and gorgeous, Corey a pinup heartthrob, Wil an awkward overy-polite geek, and Jerry an awkward overly-polite fat kid.

Today?  Jerry is a movie star who has shed all the weight, become an über-hunk, and has two children with Rebecca freakin’ Romijn.  Wil is maybe the best-respected celeb geek in the world, a bestselling author widely admired for his writing, acting, advocacy, eloquence, and humor.  Corey Feldman, on the other hand, is the butt of many jokes and very lucky not to be dead or in prison for tons of poorly-thought-out choices in his life — of which the “popular girls” would have approved.  And River?  If you haven’t heard of him, it’s because he’s dead.  He died of a drug overdose, covered in vomit, in the middle of the night on a Los Angeles street, and people really don’t talk about him much any longer.

So, take comfort.  Geek power.

(Oh, and the girls who did find Wil and Jerry the cute ones back then?  Like us, weren’t popular either.  But they were the ones worth getting to know.  It’ll work out.  I don’t know the young stars these days, but, um: that-one-guy-from-Glee-or-Twilight (?) whom all the popular girls like?  Is going to end up silly or dead.  And that-other-guy-from-Glee-or-Twilight whom they think is a geek?  Is going to succeed.  So, hint: look for the girls your age who like the geeky boys.  They’re the winners.)

Tue, 14 Sep 2010 20:38:22 +0000
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