Archive for May, 2010

And actually, there was another joke prepared that I didn’t have a chance to use

Thu, 06 May 2010 00:24:40 +0000

I am slowly being convinced that humor predicated entirely on a stranger’s discomfort is not the most laudable avenue of wit.  I was shopping at Borders today, a practice I normally avoid but engaged in today for a long and too-boring-to-recount reason. So, when a cute, twentysomething woman helped me check out, I self-censored twice.

Cashier:  Would you like to donate a pound of coffee to the troops?

Response I considered:  No way!  I saw The Hurt Locker!  The last thing those guys need is another cup of coffee!

Actual response: Not today.

… and then …

Cashier:  You have a good night, Mister McGee.

Response I considered:  Oh, no no no, please!  Mr. McGee is my father.  [smile]  I’m Doctor McGee.

Actual response: Thanks, you too.

(Seriously, though, a pound of coffee for the troops?  WTF?)

Insert. Self-Aggrandizement. Here.

Wed, 05 May 2010 15:08:45 +0000

This, ladies and gentlemen, is mcgees.org‘s 2000th post!  Wow!

I think this deserves celebration.  Here are some ideas for celebrations:

1. Fancy graphics and clever witticisms.
2. A survey of the last ten years, choosing excerpts from my 10/100/1,000 favorite posts.
3. Asking readers to choose their favorite 10/100/1,000 posts, bugging them for it repeatedly, and posting the results here.
4. Extensive thanks of my regular readers, including suggestions that there are way more of them than there are in actuality.
5. Admitting that this is just a dumb blog, and that I should just fucking get over myself already.

Suggestions?  Please vote!  All 30,000 of you!  I’ll reveal my choice when I get twenty submissions.  And my favorite 1,000 posts.

I sank your battleship with a FLOOD! Neener-neener!

Wed, 05 May 2010 15:01:14 +0000

[image at site]

Review of LG GT365 mobile phone

Wed, 05 May 2010 12:58:47 +0000

Short review: The LG GT365 mobile phone fucking sucks.

Long review: Upon careful review and extensive (theoretical, attempted) use, mcgees.org has determined that the LG GT365 really really really fucking sucks.

Summary: Figuratively, the LG GT365 “phone” is a “fucking piece of shit”.  Literally, the LG GT365 is a bundle of electronic components that, one assumes, is supposed to do something useful, but may beneficially be replaced by an actual piece of shit, which at least has the advantage of not costing eighty motherfucking dollars.

My recycled tweets for 2010-05-05

Wed, 05 May 2010 07:59:00 +0000

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My recycled tweets for 2010-05-04

Tue, 04 May 2010 07:59:00 +0000
  • Dear #Cat: If you successfully run under my feet to trip and kill me, I will no longer be able to feed you. #
  • .@Geico rep: "Now, did anyone refer you to #Geico?" Me: "It was a small reptile. I think it was green." #
  • .@jordancdarwin Gah, I hate the verbal sneer implicit in not capitalizing "Jesus". Childish. #
  • You know, if #ClimateChange were fact, not fiction, we'd be seeing weather … much like now, actually. #
  • #Costco in #California has handles of #Stoli for $22. That's $0.63/serving. #Stolichnaya #
  • Best. #FreudianSlip. Ever: Third date at her house. Me: "I'll open the wine." She: "Do you need a cockscrew?" #

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My recycled tweets for 2010-05-01

Sat, 01 May 2010 07:59:00 +0000
  • Three easily-9-star recent films: #KickAss, #DownloadingNancy, and #Peacock. And deeply flawed but worthwhile: #PublicEnemies, #Pontypool. #
  • Friends, please DM, email (joshua@mcgees.org), or otherwise contact me for my new phone number. Old one will still work for 3 months. #

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