Peoplelistening experiences

At the movies today, I heard several weird things — and as I am getting so much better about refraining from saying the first thing that pops into my head, and instead saving them to relate here, I thought I’d indulge myself thusly.

For instance, I was being helped by someone at the concessions counter.  As he was filling my drink, I saw that he had a large, elaborate tattoo reading “Cynthia” on his right forearm.

“Is that ink still relevant?” I asked.

“”Technically’”, he responded, using finger quotes.  Then he looked down at his arm.  “Oh, you mean that one?  No.  She doesn’t exist.”

And I succeeded in not saying something like “You might want to think about settling down soon.  You’re going to run out of skin.”

Also, for the second time now, I was asked for spare change by a panhandler who was, at that moment, talking on a mobile phone.  “You might want to think about eliminating your data plan” is what sprung into my mind.  But instead I gave him two quarters.

Further, outside the theater, there were two young women.  One was screaming into a mobile phone: “I have so much in my future!  I have great things in my future!  I can do so much better than you!”  I was tempted to pretend to read a sign until she got off the phone and say “So … you’re single, then?”  But, no.  Didn’t. 

Finally, two (other) women were standing outside the theater trying to decide what to see.  One was perusing the titles and showtimes, and the other was … doing something else.  Not sure.  Looking at posters, I think.

The former said: “Do you want to see Hot Tub Machine or The Jonasses?”  The latter answered.  The former replied, “OK.  But I want to see that other movie at some point: L.A. Mission.”  For real.  I was dumbstruck.

Nothing sprung into my mind immediately, but it would probably have been something like “I see why you go to the movies instead of staying home to read a book.”  But that would be dickish even by my standards, and there is a fish/barrel threshold beyond which it’s not even fun.

In the post category, I, of course, am the asshole.