(Sorry about that one.    That’s for all the people out there who have unwittingly — and repeatedly, repeatedly, repeatedly — stumbled onto squicky het.)

This is also good if you need help with defs in that last paragraph.  When I first read the question, I was sure the author was playing straight man for a planned punchline.  It looks like that wasn’t the case, but it might as well have been.  But if you need to ask, you probably don’t want to know what’s provided in the links in the first place. 

Ah.  Well.  Good.  I thought — honestly — “I’ll pretend that I’ve researched this and been unable to find the source, then someone can step in and do the research for me.”  When I read it the first time, I read it over at one of Monica’s sites (of monicks.net) as a screenshot.  I don’t know why she posts stuff as screenshots, but she does.  She titled the post “Effing Epic!”  Worse, her screenshot included the first comment (“I feel so dumb that I only got it when I got to the ‘Darth Vader’ part”) so it gave the game away when my eye skipped down to it after thinking “What the fuck?!  Why is Monica posting this, and why does it qualify as ‘epic’?!”  That was after reading the sentences “It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was fucked up. I almost died.”  I saw I was running out of story, and I thought maybe it wasn’t going to turn into a joke after all.

Anyway, the point of this: her screenshot was from that page.  So I thought I’d try to sell it better than Monicks did.  But I didn’t do as well as flossdaily did in the first place. 

If anyone knows the original author, please let me know.  I haven’t been able to determine that.