My mother opened her laptop to check the news.
My mom: Oh! My! God!! 66 new elements have been added to …
My mind reels! I have plenty of time to fill in “the periodic table?!” My mind spins out of control. Was that at the Large Hadron Collider? They’ve been busy! Have they found any islands of relative stability in the transactinides? Oh my fucking gods!
My mom: [then she finishes her sentence:] … my Facebook feed.
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