There is a crushingly adorable — um — female — who works at the local Blockbuster Video store. It’s the fact that I don’t know whether to say girl or young woman that I thought was the problem. I stopped there with my very-longtime friend Nathan tonight, and asked, exiting, “So: jailbait?”
“Yeah,” he said. “She’s a young-un. It’s the braces that make someone look young. Well — maybe she’s older. I don’t know.”
Then I realized that the actual problem was that I was evaluating a potential partner based on the technicality of whether she was in kindergarten yet when I entered college, and then I felt kind of yucky, and decided not to tell anyone about it, except that I came home and posted it on a currently-four-PageRanked website with an international readership, with a URL that is my name and with several pictures of me on the masthead. Good solution, no?
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The “half your age plus seven” rule definitely applies here. If she looks younger than 22, I look elsewhere.
I’ve always said “eight”, but then again you were much more precocious than I. So I’m bidding you up to 23.
Also, working backwards, I’m fair game for 44- to 46-year-olds. So Irène and Famke, my phone number is +1.773.336.2433.
Irène and Famke
I almost just corrected that to or for grammatical reasons, then I realized and was actually better.
Wikipedia: This designation [jailbait] connotes enticement to endanger oneself of being prosecuted for statutory rape. This term is commonly only used for teenage girls who “flaunt their looks”.
Which, for the record, she doesn’t, so my wording was not only offensive and crass but (according to Wikipedia’s definition) inaccurate. Yuckier and yuckier.
I’ve always said “eight”, but then again you were much more precocious than I.
Or you’re slightly more conservative than Google.
Or you’re slightly more conservative than Google.
Well, yeah. Everything Google’s ever seen it’s crawled over. Even you are not that daring.
Everything Google’s ever seen it’s crawled over.
And recorded it, no less. You’d have to get quite a few drinks in me before I’d go that far.
You’d have to get quite a few drinks in me before I’d go that far.
OK, then, consider the gauntlet thrown.