I feel like a bare-knucked drag-out

I’m ready for an online head to head, but I cannot think of anything incendiary, so would one of my readers please make up something I’d probably believe (if you’re a reader, you will know that could be pretty much anything), attribute it to me, and I’ll defend it tooth-and-nail?  Bonus points: make it about a white-trash murderer, and get the guy’s family onstage to throw chairs!!1!.

You can do it right here:

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