“The only service we guarantee delivery for is Express Mail”

Here’s a weird one from the US Postal Service.

If you want the signature of someone to prove a letter was delivered, the minimum cost is $4.34, for a 1 oz. letter, as of this writing.  According to the DMM, a letter must conform to certain characteristics, including a thickness “not more … than 1/4 inch”.

A piece of mail that is “not less … than 1/4 inch thick” is automatically a package, even if it’s in a normal envelope (presumably a mailpiece exactly 1/4 inch thick could go as either, although to what accuracy the measurement is required is not defined.)  Now, a service called “Signature Confirmation^TM” is available for packages.  A 1 oz. package can be sent with electronic Signature Confirmation for $2.40, or 45% less than a letter.  The trick?  Add a single packing “peanut” to the envelope.  I learned this trick from a games dealer.

I’ve gotten into the habit of using Signature Confirmation for anything of reasonable importance, from shady rebates to returns of $400 hardware.

Income taxes fall into this range for me.

I sent a suitably-padded envelope of my California state taxes to the Franchise Tax Board with Signature Confirmation.  Signature Confirmation is trackable at usps.com.  Try my package: 4209 4240 9121 8052 1368 3160 5043 59.  It gets “Processed through Sort Facility, April 16, 2009, 8:41 pm, SACRAMENTO, CA 95834″ and then — poof! — it’s gone.

This is where I learn the awesome fact that the USPS only guarantees delivery for Express Mail.  The other services entail, I guess, delivery at their discretion.  Like, if they’re not too busy or something.

I have a copy of my state taxes (electronic) — I plan to print out another, enclose a cover letter, a printout of the tracking information, and send it in, also with Signature Confirmation.  I could, you know, spend $19.80 to send it Express Mail this time.  Then they would “guarantee delivery”.  Then, hey!  If they lost it that time, I might get my twenty bucks back!