Off He Goes

Know a man
His face seems pulled and tense
Like he’s riding on a motorbike
In the strongest winds
So I approach with tact
Suggest that he should relax
But he’s always moving much too fast

Said he’ll see me on the flip side
On this trip he’s taken for a ride
He’s been taking too much on
There he goes with his perfectly unkempt clothes
There he goes

He’s yet to come back
But I’ve seen his picture
It doesn’t look the same upon the rack
We go way back

I wonder ’bout his insides
It’s like his thoughts are too big for his size
He’s been taken; where, I don’t know
Off he goes with his perfectly unkempt clothes
There he goes

And now I rub my eyes, for he has returned!
It seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned!
For he still smiles.  And he’s still strong.
Nothing’s changed but the surrounding bullshit
That has grown

And now he’s home and we’re laughing
Like we always did, my same old, same old friend
Until a quarter to ten
I saw the strain creep in
He seems distracted and I know just what is going to happen next

Before his first step
He’s off again

(Sooner than two years this time, OK?  Love you.  Miss you.)

All Vedder Tuesday

My mother opened her laptop to check the news.

My mom: Oh!  My!  God!!  66 new elements have been added to …

My mind reels!  I have plenty of time to fill in “the periodic table?!”  My mind spins out of control.  Was that at the Large Hadron Collider?  They’ve been busy!  Have they found any islands of relative stability in the transactinides?  Oh my fucking gods!

My mom:  [then she finishes her sentence:] … my Facebook feed.

It is an accident, in truth, that I am writing this on Christmas.  The ones who really commit to the family and being around others won’t be reading mcgees.org today anyway, right?

Here is Garrison Keillor on Christmas.  It is levied squarely against Universalists who want to — in the example he gives — rewrite Silent Night.

“Christmas is a Christian holiday — if you’re not in the club, then buzz off,” he writes.  Wow.  OK.  “Club”.

But I’m totally with you, dude.  I feel the same skin-crawl when Christian radio in America (for real, they do this) excise the “… and no religion too” line from John Lennon’s Imagine.  (According to Dawkins, sometimes the substitution is made, when others sing it, “… and one religion, too,” but this is so horrifically repulsive that I’m going to have to hear it myself before reporting it as fact.)

But Garrison: cool.  Christian holiday.  That’s what I’ve been saying all along.  Now what you’ve got to understand is, this is a secular nation.  Even when Christmas became a national holiday in 1870, the wording, approved by both houses of congress, didn’t say something like “on the day Our Dear Lord was Born in Bethlehem,” it said “the twenty-fifth day of December, commonly called Christmas Day.”  And it took 100 years for this to happen.

So, Garrison, if you’re going to claim Christmas only for “the club”, then do the thing privately.  Right?  I’m not talking about malls, owned by people.  I’m talking about libraries, courthouses, schools … everywhere my taxpayer dollars go.  Please.  Keep.  Christmas.  But:  Please.  Keep.  Christmas.  To yourselves.  Commit to this, I’m with you.  Don’t commit, then “buzz off”.  It may be your religion more than it is mine, but it’s as much my country as yours, and I won’t tolerate hypocrisy, especially when you write stuff like “And all those lousy holiday songs by Jewish guys that trash up the malls every year, Rudolph and the chestnuts and the rest of that dreck.  Did one of our guys write ‘Grab your loafers, come along if you wanna, and we’ll blow that shofar for Rosh Hashanah’?  No, we didn’t.”

If you’re not committing to this, and just want to lob this stuff from offstage, then as far as I’m concerned, you can go directly to hell without passing “Go ye forth.”

Enjoy your celebrations — all of you — I mean that.  And if you’re offended by my blogging today (I’m having family celebrations starting tomorrow, by the way): maybe consider why you are checking email today? 

Loves!

I just tweeted (ugh these words) that anyone who knows me only by my tiny, strident snark feed on Twitter doesn’t have a very good grasp of me at all.  I’m more strident here than I am in real life, but I can be longer-form, and have more discussion and modifiers.  So if you landed here from Twitter — welcome.  And if you care to look around — also, welcome.

Whatever, if anything, you are celebrating in these weeks — please do so with love, warmth, peace, joy, tolerance (or at least privacy), and safety, and build the memories of which our lives should be made.

Loves to all.

I may — may may may — have succeeded in removing the last of the advertising from my site.  I stopped contacting advertisers whose contracts have expired to see if they want to renew about six months ago, and the last lease has expired.  But actually scrubbing it all has been much harder than I wanted it to be, the sticking point being the feed ads.  I have no idea what is putting them in there.  Is Google Reader itself doing so?

In any case, I’m keeping the “To support this site” Amazon text on the top of the pages — I think it’s not unclassy at all — but, there you go, back to a mcgees.org (see?) without ads.

Niall and Nonna (my mother) were embarking on a project to make peanut-butter covered pine cones as treats for birds:

Nonna:  I think these would be a good gift, Niall.  Who do you think would like one?

Me:  Do you know any birds, Niall?

Nonna:  [exaggerated sing-song:]  Daddy!  [turning to Niall:]  Is that what I meant, Niall?

Niall:  I know some birds.  Like the green parrots!

Nonna:  Daddy, what kind of birds do you think would like peanut-butter covered pine cones?  Finches?

Me:  Yeah, I think so.

Nonna:  Sparrows?

Me:  Short-beaked birds, yeah?

Niall:  I don’t know any sparrows.

I asked my favorite adult human for help choosing today’s VT.  He came through:

Undone

Last stop on the West Coast line
South of the northern border,
One small corner — home tonight

Everybody, they know me there
Don’t get any second glances
Chances are that they don’t care

The world has come undone
Like to change it everyday
Change don’t come at once
There’s a wave building before it breaks

Can’t wait for election day
Witness the occupation:
Corporations rule the day

Well, you know the pendulum throws
Farther out to the one side swinging
Has to sweep back the other way

The world has come undone
Another day and who can wait?
Change don’t come at once
It’s a wave building before it breaks

All this hope and nowhere to go;
This is how I used to feel — but no more!

The world has come undone
Like a game, if you can play
Change don’t come from one:
It’s a wave building before it breaks

Keep pushing the pendulum, dear friends.  Don’t lose hope in hope.  The wave hasn’t broken yet — but I’ve got my surfboard ready.

Back next week!

All Vedder Tuesday

This story has been told by many others and at greater length, but Stone Gossard, after the breakup of Mother Love Bone, put a band together and recorded a tape of instrumental demos which he then circulated, trying to find a vocalist.  The tape landed in the possession of San Diego surfer (and gas station attendant) Eddie Vedder, who couldn’t get the music out of his head, wrote the lyrics to a mini opera, made a tape of his vocals on top of the band’s music, and sent the tape back to Seattle.

The opera is called “Mamasan”.  It is about a young man who was never told that his step-father was not his real father until the death of the latter, at which point the young man’s mother tells him so and, due to the resemblance of father and son, begins an incestuous relationship with him.  This traumatizes the young man; he wonders if his survival and his father’s death is a curse, and becomes a serial rapist and murderer, driving on wild sprees through the countryside, until he is caught and, languishing in prison, blames everything on his mother. 

So … yeah.  That’s … not exactly … glam, is it?  That’s a fair departure from 1980s hair metal.

Mamasan

Alive

“Son,” she said, “have I got a little story for you.
“What you thought was your was your daddy was nothing but a fool
“While you were sitting home alone at age thirteen,
“Your real father was dying. Sorry you didn’t see him, but I’m glad we talked.”

Oh, I’m still alive

She walks slowly across a young man’s room.
She said “I’m ready for you.”
I can’t remember anything of this very day,
Except the look
The look…
Oh, you know where!
Now I can’t see, I just stare

I’m still alive

“Is something wrong?” she said
Of course there is!
“You’re still alive!” she said
Oh, and do I deserve to be?
Is that the question?
And if so…
If so…
Who answers?
Who answers?

I’m still alive
Oh, I’m still alive
But I’m still alive

I’m still alive

Once

I admit it!  What’s to say?
I’ll relive it without pain
Backseat lover on the side of the road
I’ve got a bomb in my temple that is gonna explode
I’ve got a sixteen gauge buried under my clothes, I play…
Once upon a time I could control myself
Once upon a time I could lose myself

Oh, try and mimic what’s insane
I am in it!  Where do I stand?
Oh, Indian summer and I hate the heat
I’ve got a backstreet lover on the passenger seat
I’ve got my hand in my pocket, so determined, discreet, I pray…
Once upon a time I could control myself
Once upon a time I could lose myself

You think I’ve got my eyes closed but I’m looking at you the whole fucking time

Once upon a time I could control myself
Once upon a time I could lose myself
Once upon a time I could love myself
Once upon a time I could love you
Once.

Footsteps

Don’t even think about reaching me;
I won’t be home
Don’t even think about stopping by –
Don’t think of me at all
I did what I had to do
If there was a reason, it was you

Don’t even think about getting inside;
Voices in my head, voices
Oh, I’ve got scratches all over my arms
One for each day since I fell apart
I did what I had to do
If there was a reason, it was you

Footsteps in the hall, it was you.  You.
Pictures on my chest, it was you.  You.
It was you

I did what I had to do
And if there was a reason
Oh, there wasn’t no reason, no!
And if there’s something you’d like to do –
Just let me continue to blame you

Footsteps in the hall, it was you.  You
Pictures on my chest, it was you.
You.
You.

Back next week!

All Vedder Tuesday

From a discussion group called [arts-poetry-humanities]:

For starters, Tim, it’s clear that you’ve been immersed in a paradigm in which the English language has been subverted into a mode that requires more intensive decoding;  I recognize it from when I worked at Harbinger, where they elevated language to buzzwords that hid the actual meaning from the audience that might attempt to read it.

Emphasis added.  Of course.

Alternate Title: “Of all things po-mo // Let us have no mo’” — Geoff Nunberg

Holy cowzes, peeps!  Thanks for using my Amazon referral code!  You’ve put me into a higher payout tier for this month!  As always, using this code costs you nothing and keeps this oasis of reason and snark on the web.  Did you know that ordering from Amazon has a smaller carbon footprint than driving to the mall and back, given a certain (very small) distance to the mall and efficiency of car?  So by keeping the banner on this site green, you’re kee … (sorry, can’t.)  Also, every time you order using my link, it keeps each deity ever conceived from killing a penguin (it’s true, I can show you the math)?  As always:

Feeling best/worst/best again. Jelloing this across everywhere one might find me.  All pending contacts will be addressed — later.

David Cross has a bit in (the caustic and exquisite) Shut Up, You Fucking Baby! CD in which he is skewering — harshly — the Bible.  He uses examples like “angels took blood and …”, ages of religious heroes in the Old Testament , and calls it “D&D bullshit” (that’s from memory — can’t find my CDs).  To pillory this, he says “Where are the unicorns?!”

Um …

Um …

There.  And by “there” I mean:

• Numbers 23:22
• Numbers 24:8
• Job 39:9-10
• Psalm 29:6
• Psalm 92:10

For real.  Look it up.  Those are hyperlinks.  Click any — click all — of them.  Or pick your favorite Bible from your bookshelf (if you got it from a motel, you officially didn’t steal it, so don’t feel guilty.)  I’ll wait.

Back?

OK.  Um … unicorns.  From a Christian site — biblestudytools.com — here are the search results for ‘unicorn’.  The word in Ancient Hebrew, phonetically, is reh-ame’. 

But picking on the King James Version is like picking on conservatism by criticizing Limbaugh, O’Reilly, and Coulter.  I really do know that.  KJV is unsophisticated scholars interpreting ancient texts to conform to the whims of royalty.  My favorite version is the New International Version (NIV).  Yes, I have a favorite.  For me it’s the best balance of solemn formality, readability, collation of (wildly) varying texts, and accuracy (in my word-by-word Greek examination, at least.)  Yes, some interpretations have more scholarship behind them — NRSV (New Revised Standard Version) is frequently lauded, but my fave is still NIV.  It says “wild ox”.  For the record, here’s a survey of the word in the translations I’ve found online:

Unicorn: 4
Wild ox (one is hyphenated): 12
Ox: 2
Wild bull: 3
Buffalo: 1
Bison: 1
Reem: 1

OK, so the clear winner is “wild ox”.  But the second is “unicorn”.  But keep in mind: there are at least four different species here.  Wikipedia them. 

So: biblical inerrancy?  How is this possible?  Well, the answer is in Brown, Driver, Briggs, and Gesenius: “The exact meaning is unknown.”  So the answer is simple: the scriptures meant exactly one thing, and we’ve lost the referent.  Happens.  No fault there.  I’m not unsophisticated or strident enough to not realize that.

What my point is, though, is that among the (staggering small) number of Christians who have read the whole Bible, some believe that the Bible is inerrant.  Some of those will say that the Bible in the original languages is what is inerrant.  I can swing with that.  But the others (who’ve read the book — again, small) will stick by their favorite translation, and they can’t all be right.  This is not dickishness, this is just logic.

I believe the best argument for “unicorn”, by the way, is that Psalm 92:10 says “But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of an unicorn.”  All translations I’ve found are singular.  I must demur here: I don’t know nearly enough about Ancient Hebrew to judge fine issues of ordinality (if nothing else, Japanese convinces me of possible weirdness in the way things are counted.)  Why not … “horns of a wild ox”?  Dunno.

But who cares about what fucking animal a reh-ame’ is.

Few, I expect.  Fine.  The real problem I want to discuss is not there.  The problem shows up in Isaiah 7:14, which portends a birth that was ret-conned (I think it’s fair to say the burden of proof is on the believer to disprove this) onto Mary.  The word is `almah, which can mean either “young woman of marrying age” or “virgin”.  That’s reasonable if it’s in a culture where all unmarried young women are (upon-penalty-of-death-assumed-to-be) virgins — it’s like a language in which “Republican” and “asshole” map to the same token.  One brilliant translation I’ve read translates ‘almah to “maiden”, which is ambiguous in English.

The big ret-conning of the conception of Jesus, largely furthered by the proto-orthodox (see Bart Ehrman’s Lost Christainities), is and was super-hyped by the Roman Catholics who, in a baffling indulgence in syncretism, believe that Mary was a virgin after giving birth.  By the way, he source of that — and I would expect fewer than 1 in 1,000 Catholics could cite this — is solely The Proto-Gospel of James, a book considered non-canonical by (I believe) every modern denomination (“proto-gospel” is a technical term that means “gospel describing the life of Jesus before he began his ministry”, and most are delightfully amusing, describing Mad Magazine-esque escapades of the miracle-working young Christ.)

So, faced with all that: what would be the likely translation of the Isaiah passage if we didn’t have the Greek Gospels?  Without the later ret-conning, would we read that Jesus would be born to a “virgin”, or to “a young woman of marrying age”?  If you will set aside for the moment the conceit of Biblical inerrancy — and the facts that the book is internally inconsistent and demonstrably wrong give ample reason to set inerrancy aside permanently — what would be your response to an ambiguous email forward or newsstand tabloid that claimed a virgin birth?  Please be honest to yourself.  Would you say “Hells Yeah!”, or would you check Snopes?

It’s.  Just.  An.  Old.  Book.  Gah, can’t you see that?  Except it’s not.  It’s lots of contradictory old books sewn together with authorship attributed to a deity.  The power of unicorns?  Pregnant virgins?  For real, Christians: if this were anywhere other than the Bible, WWYD?  ‘Y’ is the most important critic: “You”.

Yes, I can be a real dick.  But comments by others suggest that I’m a dick at times when I’m wholly unaware of it.  Upon much reflection, here are the most likely contributing effects:

When I’m a dick by completely and callously trampling everything you believe and hold dear:  That’s largely the False Consensus Effect.  When I just charge through, assuming that the reader agrees that Fox News is unbalanced and unfair, religion in society can do great harm, Bush Ⅱ was a terrible president, evolution is a fact to the exact degree that gravitation is a fact, etc., and don’t substantiate my claims, this is frequently what’s at work.  In doing this, I am being inappropriately and inconsiderately inclusive.

When I’m a dick by apparently showing off or talking over your head:  That’s the Dunning-Kruger Effect.  There’s no humility in claiming that effect, because there is no reason to pretend to be humble: I do have a greater understanding of science, technology, logic, and mathematics than most other people, and I let them color my worldview more than does almost anyone [insert clever response about Dunning-Kruger and believing myself to have great understanding.]  It’s been pointed out to me that I throw around terms like “order of magnitude”, “factor”, “signal-to-noise ratio”, “imprecise”, “given”, “established”, and so many others; I mention things by initialisms; I reference things in passing that will require a Google search to unravel.  Most of the time, I’m honestly not trying to be a dick.  In doing this, I am being — ready? — inappropriately and inconsiderately inclusive.  The worst part about this one is that when I try explain more carefully, I frequently explain entirely the wrong things, which makes me seem both a dick and patronizing.

When I’m just being a dick:  That’s the Just Being a Dick Effect.  In doing this, I am inappropriately and inconsiderately just being a dick.  An example would be, for instance, when I try to ret-con my dickishness by pretending it to be inclusive.

It is left as an exercise for the reader to bin the instances appropriately.

On preview: “bin” as a verb; “mutually-exclusive”; “exercise for the reader”.  Sorry.

Has anyone read Dom Segolla’s 140 Characters: A Style Guide for the Short Form? 

From the back cover, apparently:

What Strunk and White’s Elements of Style did for traditional media, 140 Characters does for the social media revolution happening today.

This is a bold claim indeed. 

Alternate post title: “Je n’ai fait celle-ci plus longue parceque je n’ai pas eu le loisir de ce tweet faire plus courte.”  But, with the hashtags, that would make the Twitter crosspost too long to RT [insert. irony. here.]

These lyrics were written near the end of the Clinton years, in response to the WTO protests in Pearl Jam’s home, Seattle.  Remember that?  Remember those?  Remember, before Bush Ⅱ, when the scale of world conflict was muted enough that trade imbalances made front page news?

Bush has come, Bush is gone.  And gods did I hope I would not have cause to trot out these lyrics.

But yesterday and today, with news of Lieberman holding health care hostage in the Senate, with an intended destruction of the public option — the option that keeps the US from further becoming a corporate state, in the way that the U.S. is a corporate state insofar as its economy is concerned — and news that Obama is tentatively supporting this castration — It.  Is.  Fucking.  Time.  For these lyrics.  Senators (most are millionaires): This is our blood.  We need our blood.  We want our independence from bloodthirsty corporations.  We are deserving — we all are deserving — something more.

Grievance

Have a drink — they’re buying!
Bottom of bottle of denial

Big guy, big eye watching me
Have to wonder what it sees
Progress laced with ramifications –
Freedom’s big plunge

Pull the innocent from the crowd
Raise the sticks then bring them down
If they fail to obey
Oh, if they fail to obey

For every tool they lend us, a loss of independence

I pledge my grievance to the flag
‘Cause you don’t give blood then take it back again
Oh, we’re all deserving something more!

Progress!  Taste it!  Invest it all!
Champagne breakfast for everyone!

Break the innocent when they’re proud
Raise the stakes then bring them down
If they fail to obey
Yeah, if they fail to obey

Pledge your grievance to the flag!
Oh, come on!  Don’t give blood then take it back again!
Oh, we’re all deserving something more!

Have a, have a drink, drink!
Have a, have a drink, drink!

I want to breathe part of the scene
I want to taste everyone I see
I want to run when I’m up high
I want to run into the sea
I want to life to be –
I just want to be –
To be –
I will feel alive as long as I am free

Pledge your grievance to your senators.  Right now, while you’re emboldened and thinking about it.

I’m calling on my fellow secularists, atheists, and, indeed, all those who care about the U.S. Constitution and how non-Christians are treated in the United States.

The principal at Emperor Elementary school in Temple City, California, USA — Kathy Perini — is fiercely Christian.  In the teachers’ areas of the school, she has religious messages spread throughout.  But that’s not what I’m complaining about.  Those target adults.

At the “Breakfast With Santa” today, I got a complete blow-off when I brought up my concerns about the music being played (loudly) in the area where those attending were to eat.  It wqas all seriously hard-core Christian carols and songs — indeed, not a secular song to be heard, until, by accident, “Let It Snow” came on the mix as I was leaving in protest.

“Complete blow-off” is not strong enough, though.  When she said that she had it put together specially, and I asked “You do understand my point, though, right?”, her “Yes” was accompanied by a wicked smile.  The smile of someone abusing authority.  The smile of a bigot.  The smile that says “I have power, you have none.”

She is wrong, and not only morally.  She is wrong that we, as citizens, as secularists, have no power.

We have power.

I’m organizing a letter-writing campaign.  Please consider writing a paper-and-envelope letter to the Temple City Unified School District, expressing whatever concerns you have about this incident.  Please feel free to post here asking for more information.  And, if and when you send a letter, please note so here.  I think we can easily get 100.

Here is what I have sent to local newspapers:

At the “Breakfast With Santa” event held at Emperor Elementary School (Temple City, California) on December 5th, 2009, strongly (and exclusively) Christian carols and hymns were played loudly in the auditorium where attendees were to eat the breakfast they purchased at the event.  I approached Principal Kathy Perini and expressed my discomfort at the music choices.  She explained they were put together for the event to “Make it nice for the holidays”.  While she understood my secular concerns, she expressed an intention to continue playing them.

This is illegal, inappropriate, and an abuse of her office.  Temple City Schools must abide by California standards and the US Constitution.  Students from families of other faiths — and those of no faith — deserve to be educated in as respectful and inclusive an environment as the children of Christians.  Citizens’ tax dollars must not sponsor partisan religious behavior by school administrators.  A formal written apology by Mrs. Perini, distributed to every student at the school, and a commitment to abandon such behavior in the future, is the only appropriate course of action.

I have sent similar letters to our California State Assemblyperson and Senator; Governor Schwarzenegger; the California Board of Education; the Freedom From Religion Foundation; the ACLU; the Center For Inquiry: West; and American Atheists.  If you have a blog, Twitter account, or social networking account, please consider propagating this.

We can make a change.

We have power.

Here is contact info.

Temple City School Board
c/o Temple City Unified School District
9700 Las Tunas Drive
Temple City, CA 91780
Phone: (626) 548-5000
Fax: (626) 548-5022

• Aha! The reason #KGmailNotifier is not alerting me to new emails is that it's NOT RUNNING! That's an acceptable excuse, I feel. #
• #npr.org top emailed stories: Northern Calif. #marijuana sales boosting revenue and whether sandwich triangles or squares are better. [sigh] #
• #NPR's #AllSongsConsidered: best albums of 2009? Write-ins OK, but #PearlJam is on their canned list. Bravo! http://bit.ly/8WZsbQ #
• In #Firefox, CTRL-leftclick opens a window in the background, unless the target is _blank.  Is there anyway to make THIS open in the bg? #
• Two sample points now: I think #StephenKing has a deep #fear of #lobsters (a narrow #ostraconophobia?) Hell, after HIS descriptions… wow. #
• Political conservatism and religiosity seem well-correlated. The "why" is not obvious to me. Maybe both require not thinking critically?   #
• One more #atheism tweet: "no deities" is SO BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS to me that I am baffled by faith. Why? Skinner's pigeons? Real question;help! #

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Dick Gorden’s show tonight had a (truly heroic) woman on who spent time infiltrating white supremacist groups.  There is a long, long post in here for me, that I just don’t have in me tonight, largely because it would have to address this post at length, which I basically got tired of arguing at the time, and that entails trying to guess Bob Mike’s first-round arguments, which can be tiring. 

But to get the snark out of the way so that it needn’t pollute that potentially-good yet-to-exist post, here’s Bob Mike, when we were discussing names for non-theists and non-heteronormative peoples:

My problem with “bright” is that it doesn’t really tell you anything about the beliefs of the person in question.  Whether you like “atheist” or not, the word is at least accurate.  Using “bright” just brings the entire system into the realm of corporate branding.  Screw that …

[W]e’re disagreeing on the most effective method of getting [equal rights] done … I feel that it can be best accomplished by gathering together groups that have similar (if not identical) interests into a single, dedicated mass, so “queer” works for me.

To which the obvious-to-me responses are:

1)  Yeah, fuck corporate branding.  Let’s go with something descriptively accurate like “queer” (?).
2)  Betcha there is an at-least-as-high percentage of intelligent (“bright”) atheists as strange (“queer”) GLBTQ folks! 

I’d like to pretend that the first installment of Vedder Tuesday into … Advent?  Are we in Advent?  Pre-Christmas anyway … was chosen for the Christmas reference.  But no, I just love these lyrics to an insane degree.  While it sometimes drives me absolutely batty that he does not use the subjunctive (“I wish I were…” is the same number of syllables, Ed), I hope you will enjoy these.

Wishlist

I wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off
I wish I was a sacrifice but somehow still lived on
I wish I was a sentimental ornament you hung on the Christmas tree
I wish I was the star that went on top
I wish I was the evidence, I wish I was the grounds
For fifty million hands upraised and opened toward the sky

I wish I was a sailor with someone who waited for me
I wish I was as fortunate, as fortunate as me
I wish I was a messenger and all the news was good
I wish I was the full moon shining off a Camaro’s hood

I wish I was an alien at home behind the sun
I wish I was the souvenir you kept your house key on
I wish I was the pedal brake that you depended on
I wish I was the verb ‘to trust’ and never let you down

I wish I was a radio song, the one that you turned up
I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish
Oh, wishes never stop

(Thirteen is the first number for which there is no single-character Unicode encoding.  So, for the first time, the ⅩⅢ comprises two characters.  Just thought you’d want to know that.)

All Vedder Tuesday

• I hoped he would be #FDR — and he was #LINCOLN. The US deserves a statesman, and we finally have one. Bravo, @BarackObama. #
• IMHO, possibly the three most underrated TV/film #actors are #TerrySerpico, #MarkPellegrino, and #WilliamMapother.  Lead roles, please! #

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• Could someone explain to me how current Democratic "save-the-banks-then…" ideas are NOT "trickle-down"? #
• "The Sixth Extinction" http://www.greenchange.org/article.php?id=5312 <–read (via @greenchangeorg) Also: http://www.blackfootedferret.org/ #
• #MM #MusicMonday: #ThemCrookedVultures, whole album (huge love) #GunsNRoses Chinese Democracy album (for real). #Midnattsol "En Natt I Nord" #
• I'm listening to the new #GunsNRoses.  The one that's supposed to suck.  It doesn't.  #ChineseDemocracy #
• Exceedingly poor economic logic in this @NYTimesKrugman article. The margin of this tweet is too narrow to contain etc. http://bit.ly/7Kxahu #

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• RT @nickmote: @clanmackay Actually, Blacks are the largest race demographic in Twitter.  http://bit.ly/6jVHlL #
• I put @OhNoItsDark together in five minutes as a joke, but I am finding it exceedingly USEFUL to be told in my timeline when the sun has set #
• Report: "no doubt that clerical child abuse was covered up" http://bit.ly/5CAuad (via @bbcworldservice) #catholic #childabuse #religion #
• My novel "Moby Bambi" begins "You can call me Ishmael if you want to."  Good start? #

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1.  There exist religions, one of which is Christianity
2.  My parents raised me in that one
3.  I have felt there is something greater than myself
4.  Ergo, God exists and everything in the Bible is true

Yes, I’m a dick, but that doesn’t change the fact that the religionists with more sophisticated reasoning constitute <5% of those I’ve encountered.  (But, for the record, I am certain that you are in the 5%.  Right?  Right?)

I’ve learned that the world is 4,500 million years old.  If you’re very religious, it’s not 4,500 million years old, it’s 6,000 years old.  One of these is not correct.  Using simple logic here.  Now the science boys: they’ve got anoraks, they’ve got glasses, Bunsen burners, and Petri dishes … Then if you’re religious, the religious boys: they’ve got a book … [mimes trying to think of anything else.]  Some really interesting stuff in the book, good stories in the book …

And there’s slavery in there.  Maybe — crime against humanity there?  In a good moral book?  Maybe shouldn’t be in there?  Maybe an editor should have put a line through “How to sell your daughter”?  It makes me think there isn’t a God.  You know?  I used to be an agnostic, now I’m an atheist …  I believe in us!  I don’t believe in God, I believe in us!  Human beings! …

[God writing the Bible:]  “Sorry about the slavery.  Couldn’t get the staff.  They seem to like it?  Shit!  Alright, forget this bit.  ‘In the beginning was The Word!’”

(From Stripped)

Page 11 of a novel:

I’m back in produce, though, honestly, I don’t remember what caused me to drift back there.

Does … someone else?  The author maybe?  Also, have you just established that you are sometimes going to lie to me?  You’re a $7.99 drugstore mass market paperback thriller, for gods’ sakes, but if you want to rock the Unreliable Narrator, I’ll put you on probation to try it.

Page 12:

Though recently, for reasons I can’t explain, it has begun to fade.

Could you … try to explain them?  Seriously, you’re all I’ve got connecting me to the story here.  You can’t take a nap onstage and then leave it to the reader to figure out the deep haunting majesty of your hazy pretensions.  Especially given the prose of the first ten pages.

She gets five more pages, and then I’m out.

[title]

• Gang "supplied sedatives to team doctors and hotel cooks to drug players in matches" http://bit.ly/5efeuI
  #football #soccer #
• Isn't it great how minority #comedians can get a free pass on vicious #racism if they're solely anti-white? <– Seen too many racist comics. #
• One of my favorite #MPAA content advisories: #MissionImpossible III, a PG-13 for "Frenetic violence and menace" Does "frenetic" distribute? #
• I don't know quite what this means, but I find #EddieIzzard much hotter when he's butch and over 40. #
• I chuckle when audio snobs reject as lossy 320kbps mp3s of audience DATs. #
• People who say "I hate #Windows so I buy #Mac" remind me of "I hate the #Democrats so I vote #GOP" people #linux #greenparty #
• RT @kimberli9: I just saw an #omgfacts tweet that said "your to sexy."  OMFG, someone please gouge my eyes out!! [mine too, please] #
• Almost every time I visit a #TT, 90+% of user pics are of blacks. Just purely statistically. Do I not understand Twitter demographics? #
• That last CAN'T POSSIBLY be called racism, right? It's just COUNTING. Is this representative of Twitter or just TTs? #

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• A supermarket #tabloid this week: "#Obama's gay lover gets revenge!" Comics make up tabloid headlines. Why? The tabloids parody themselves . #
• RT @duhism: On this holiday spent with the family, I'm reminded to be thankful to the creator of mind-numbing alcoholic beverages. #

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I’ve been sick for a couple of weeks, so I missed the 15^th of this month for the portfolio holdings.  So here it is as of the close of the markets on 2009-11-25:

Jason:

SBIX has dropped by 15% since the beginning (== the last month), making his $2500 now worth $2127.23.  His SEP, O, and QQQQ have gone up by  8%, 6%, and 2%, respectively.  His $10,000 has increased to $10,048.55, a gain of 0.5%.

Amal:

JASO has dropped by 4%, NOK by 2%.  DIS has gone up by 5%, though.  Her investment is worth $9839.38, a decline of 1.6%.

Joshua

IYY, following the DJIA, is up 1%; his $3000 is worth $3032.15.  The Kronur has also gone up 1% versus the dollar, and his $7000 is worth $7068.89, without considering FOREX charges.  He has $10k in cash and has obligations of $5435.65 in GLD and $5535.24 in GOOG.  His investment tots to $20,101.05 with obligations for $10,970.90, for a total $9130.15, a drop of 8.7% (!).

So,

#1, Jason:  $10048.55
#2, Amal: $9839.38
#3, Joshua: $9130.15

I think we can still sign up people, of they can choose the low person’s total to invest (that’s fair, right?)  So if you want to play, divide your investment into percentages to invest, and we’ll figure out what you own on the 15^th of next month (December 2009), based on the low score.

Should we let people move their dollars around, or should we stick to our starting choices?

All 15^th of the Month Portfolio

• Anyone know the piece of #music played on #TheWorld 2009-11-24 after the Afghan chess article? It's not on the website yet. <– must have #
• RT @OhNoItsDark: "(ahhh.  that's better.  daylight.)"  [Except it's NOT better if one hasn't been able to sleep yet, is it?] #
• I'm pretty sure, after seeing @DrBobParsons's tweets, that I'm going to be finding a new registrar. Gah. This man could distort *anything*. #
• If you care, #CraigFerguson's monologues are available at http://bit.ly/4ZQsDH. One of the few things on TV I find worth watching. #
• Probably my favorite #Thanksgiving message ever, from #PhilRadford of #Greenpeace: http://bit.ly/50yL2V Simply beautiful. #
• #ChristopherHitchens: "Think of something wicked that only a believer would be likely to do" http://bit.ly/88PsRe #atheism #terrorism #snark #

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I mentioned — can’t find it — that if anyone asked to see what I consider the one decent bit of poetry I’ve ever written, I’d post it.  No one has, but I’m feeling brave (fortified?) tonight, and thought I’d share it.

With all the poetry that I’ve spent lots of time on, this was a moment in my undergraduate “Creative Writing: Poetry” class at which I arrived at class ten minutes beforehand and thought, “Oh, shit, sonnet!”  I wrote it longhand on a piece of filler paper.  I didn’t really like structured poetry (although, with distance, I think C.S. Lewis was right when he stated that one needs to understand the rules of poetry before one breaks them), so I restructured the sonnet into an ABCDCBA ABCDCBA format to suggest the to-and-fro motion of an ocean storm.  Anyway, here it is:

Shipwreck (1996)

Beneath the blue-grey sky, upon the blue
Entombed, in ice, my dear-love ship remains
As I, alone, am tossed above the sea.
No bird, no fish in view to see my plight
For Neptune in his frigid heart must be
A vicious god, whose brutal mind complains
When forced to see what angered mortals do.

I faced the sea with rage, that much is true –
Alas! this icy cold must chill my veins!
My rage alone cannot afford to be
A martyr slain, beside my soul this night.
I faced the sea alone, that much I see –
And left adrift, with Neptune at his reins
I gasp, and scream, and bare my rage anew.

Please be gentle.