Siiiing with me!
Everybody now!
Some fucking motherfucker stole my bike
Some fucking motherfucker stole my bike
I’ll tell you what he’s like
He’s a fucking parasite
This dickless fucking punk who stole my bike (from my porch!)
Second verse, same as the first!
Some …
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9 Responses to “Siiiing with me!”
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July 23rd, 2008 at 12h16
Third verse….
Some idiot forgot to lock his bike, lock his bike, lock his bike
Some idiot forgot to lock his bike and I know who he is.
He’s brilliant and thoughtful and sensitive, too
Frustrating and exasperating and forgetful, too
But that idiot forgot to lock his bike and I don’t know what to do.
July 23rd, 2008 at 23h13
I know. I just thought that little red dress for the party looked so nice. But you’re right, it’s my fault. He really didn’t have a choice, did he? No point in complaining. It’s my fault.
July 23rd, 2008 at 23h20
The story thickens, however. My landlord woke me up during a nap today by knocking on my door. I stepped out, and she asked me if she had seen anyone coming in and out of the empty-in-the-process-of-being-refurbished apartment next to mine. She explained that someone was squatting there.
“No,” I said, but explained that my bike had been stolen.
“What does it look like?” she asked. She pulled up a snapshot on her cell phone, shielding it from me. I described it — various features — and added that it said “Charger” on the side.
“Oh, yes, this one has Charger on it. It’s in a closet.”
“Then key in to the apartment and let’s get my bike!” I said.
“No,” she replied.
I didn’t have my wits with me. My landlady has, shall we say, a strong personality, but were I more conscious, I would not have dropped the point. I would have taken it as far as calling 911 to get police to compel her to open the door. But I was very sleepy.
I don’t know what she did about it. She might have changed the locks. But likely, if they got in once, they can get in again, and maybe they’ll take my bike with them next time.
This one is my fault. Tonight the preceding occurred to me, but by that time it was after hours, and the landlady forwards her phone to her home number, and I didn’t want to wake her (this is not the kind of lady you want to wake.) But I’ll call her first thing in the morning. And if the bike’s not there, I will call the cops, and try to get the complex’s insurance to pay for a replacement.
July 24th, 2008 at 09h26
Hi Josh,
I hope you get your bike back. Please let us know what happens.
Being a trusting person is an admirable quality, but one must learn when trust doesn’t work. If you get that bike back, make sure you lock it up next time. Better yet – keep it in the apartment and out of sight.
July 24th, 2008 at 09h59
I didn’t get it back, but I got a different bike back! The landlady wheeled out the bike that was in the closet. She said, “Is this yours?” I told her no. She said, “Well, I don’t know whose it is. You can have it.”
Weird.
July 24th, 2008 at 10h18
HAHAHAHAHA! This story just gets more and more strange! Glad you have some kind of bike now! Have you tested it out?
July 24th, 2008 at 10h20
What I’m waiting for, as the next step, is some burly guy with tattoos to kick my ass because I stole his bike….
July 24th, 2008 at 11h38
If the burly guy with tattoos knocks on your door….offer him your little red dress….
July 24th, 2008 at 11h39
“My, what big biceps you have!!!”