I tend to forget, with how much gore is permitted in R-rated films these days, how much more gory they can get when they are unrated.  Good grief.

“Bad Catholic!  Bad catholic!” scolds the Vatican, hitting Catholic politicians on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.  “No human flesh for you!”

If they’re going to be dicks about it, excommunicate the guy and deal with the fallout. But the Pope’s not going to do that. He’s just going to let Arinze grandstand, because maintaining theocratic PNTR with Africa is too important to Rome these days. Africa is too big a market a market to ignore. There’s talk of an African as the next pope, with Arinze (Nigerian) at the top of the list. This will yank the Catholic church viciously to the right, undoing any little reform that can be credited to the current administration. No, better to keep the membership rolls flush. Support the Nigerian church as it teaches that watching porn gives you AIDS.

Nigeria is one of the most religiously screwed-up places in the world.  Boys’ eyes are being plucked out for use in witchcraft, and Sharia law is sentencing women to death by stoning for adultery. The climate offers a great chance for the Catholic church to be a moderating, modernizing, progressive force. But that’s not going to happen. The Catholic church will respond to religious radicalism with — surprise! — more religious radicalism. They can disagree with abortion; that’s fine, even though I disagree with it. But they’re not just doing that. They are shunning American politicians for their views, while American clergymen abuse over 10,000 children.

Thursday’s New York Times misidentified GOP Senate candidate Pete Coors as a Ku Klux Klan member who murdered a black sharecropper.

The Coors campaign found the error “so outrageous it’s kind of funny,” said spokeswoman Cinamon Watson.

“It could have been worse,” she joked. “Pete could have been identified as John Kerry.”

Lynn Bartels, Rocky Mountain News

This boggles the mind.  This is supposed to be funny? The official spokesman of a Republican saying that it’s better to be seen as a Klan member then a Democratic senator and presidential nominee?

The Love Song of J Alfred Crew.  Note that the site goes on to explain the joke. Just a heads up, guys: The reason they’re not laughing is not that New Yorker subscribers don’t read their Eliot. It’s because the joke’s not funny.

Two weeks ago, Weird Al’s parents died of accidental carbon monoxide poisoning in their home.  They had been burning a fire with the flue closed.

Today I read a “joke” article in The Onion:

Weird Al Honors Parents’ Memory With ‘Tears In Heaven’ Parody

FALLBROOK, CA?Zany, mourning entertainer “Weird Al” Yankovic has parodied Eric Clapton’s eulogy song “Tears In Heaven” in loving tribute to his parents, who recently died of carbon-monoxide poisoning in their San Diego home, a spokesman for Yankovic said Monday. “Al’s hurting deeply right now, and this is his way of honoring Nick and Mary,” Karl Tuft said of the song in which a subdued Yankovic sings, “First you lit some flames / Then the smoke stopped your breathin’ / Carbon mono’s th’way you went… / Up to heaven” over a somber, minor-key accordion melody. Tuft added that the best way for Yankovic to give voice to his pain and loss was by altering the voice of Clapton’s pain and loss.

Sometimes I’m offended by The Onion, but after a while I realize I’m being a little too uptight. But the more I think about it, the more I’m upset by this. Death of parents (Weird Al) and children (Clapton) is off limits. It’s not funny. It’s tasteless and repugnant. It’s also offensive to suggest that Weird Al, an all around nice guy, would touch “Tears in Heaven”.