The PowellsBooks newsletter has a bizarre and addictive feature called, and I’m quoting this literally, “Fup. Store Cat.” Yes, the periods included. As far as I can gather, Fup is the name of their store cat; that’s a picture to the right. “Fup. Store Cat.” is like a train wreck: you can’t quite pull your eyes away, even if you want to. You see, every newsletter presents a new “chapter” (just a couple hundred words) about Fup’s adventures. In each chapter Fup, joined by compatriots Bear, Zooey, and Wiggums, adventure their way through unwieldy prose:
Let’s follow a path in the sun,” Bear purrs.
“There are no paths in the sun,” Wiggums reminds him. “You’re sitting in the last patch of sun we’re liable to find for three days.”
Up and up the fir trees go, so far beyond the leafy pockets nearer to the ground that there’s no telling where they stop. Their tops end somewhere in the sky, is about all you can safely say.
“We could climb until we’re above the tree line,” Fup suggests, “but that would be an odd thing to do, seeing as it’s trees we’re looking for.”
“Trees you’re looking for?” someone says.
Fup looks at Bear. Then Fup and Bear both look at Wiggums. An echo would be the most natural explanation, except that they hadn’t noticed an echo before.
Fup repeats herself, but a little louder this time: “Trees we’re looking for.”
“That’s what I thought you said.”
Down by the creek, Zooey begins to growl.
They search the woods around them, but it’s like trying to find fish in a deep lake, Fup realizes, staring into the tangle of leaves and branches. She notices for the first time how loud the bird chatter has become — or had she not been listening before? She can’t see a single bird for all the leaves and branches, but suddenly birds are all she can hear.
Each time the newsletter arrives, I’m presented with my WTF moment for the day.
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