Who’s on the first channel?

The overpriced cable company that serves the new house has one of the most frustrating sales departments I
have ever dealt with.  I am ordering from them cable television and cable modem services.  To
get the cable television installed, however, I have to wait until the cable modem gets installed.  I
cannot even schedule an installation for the cable television until the cable modem is
installed.  This was scheduled for the 30^th of last month, but the guy never
showed up.  It was rescheduled for this morning, but the guy did not show up until 2 p.m. (Jenn waited
around for him.)  Jenn told me he had finished, so I called Ernesto (my rep) to schedule the installation of the cable television service.  Here is the conversation:

Ernesto:  Hi Josh, we can get the home installation taken care of now.

Josh:  Great!

Ernesto:   OK, how many televisions do you have?

Josh:  Two.

Ernesto:   OK.  So on the first one we’ll set up a cable box.  That’s 64
basic channels, plus 77 digital channels, plus [some number] of music channels, plus four talk radio
channels, plus ten HBO and eight Showtime.  On the other television you will just have the 64 basic
channels.  After the first month [that I'm receiving for free as a promotion], if you choose to
keep it, it will be $65 per month.

Josh:  The $65 includes the pay channels?

Ernesto:   Yes.

Josh:  And how much would it be without the pay channels?

Ernesto:   $43 per month.

Josh:  OK, so I would then have the sixty-whatever basic channels, the 77 digital
channels and the music.

Ernesto:   No.

Josh:  I’m sorry?

Ernesto:   No.  You wouldn’t have the digital channels.

Josh:  I’m trying to figure out how much it would be if I just dropped the HBO and
Showtime.

Ernesto:   So you don’t want the digital channels?

Josh:  No, I am interested in the digital channels, and I’m trying to see how much that would be without HBO and Showtime.

Ernesto:   $65.

Josh:  (pause)

Ernesto:   (pause)

Josh:  Ernesto, does that include the HBO and Showtime?

Ernesto:   Errr, yes.

Josh:  How much would it be for the service without HBO and without Showtime?

Ernesto:   $43.

Josh:  $43?

Ernesto:   Yes.

Josh:  Does that include the digital channels?

Ernesto:   No, but if you, I mean if you want to, I mean you don’t have to decide right
now, you can tell us after the first month….

Josh:  Ernesto, I’m not trying to be critical or to complain here.  I’m just trying
to find out how much this will cost.

Ernesto:   OK.

Josh:  OK.  Can I get the digital channels without subscribing to HBO and
Showtime?

Ernesto:   Of course.

Josh:  How much would it be to have the digital cable box, but not have HBO and
Showtime?

Ernesto:   $6 more per month.

Josh:  OK, $6 more.  So the total cost would be $49 per month, right?

Ernesto:   Errr, yes, $49.

Josh:  That sounds pretty good.

Ernesto:   OK.  And if you want the digital channels at some point, that would be
only $10 more per month.

Josh:  (pause)

Ernesto:   (pause)

Josh:  I thought you just said $6.

Ernesto:   Yes.

Josh:  For the digital cable box it would be $6 per month.

Ernesto:   Yes, $6 for the box.  And then if you decided you wanted the
digital channels that would be only $10 more per month.

Josh:  Why in the world would I want a digital cable box if I didn’t have digital
channels?

Ernesto:   (pause)

Josh:  One can’t be used without the other, right?

Ernesto:   Right.

Josh:  So it’s just that you guys list them separately, you need both to get the digital
channels, right?

Ernesto:   Huh?

Josh:  To get digital channels, I would need to pay $6 per month for the digital cable
box and $10 per month for the digital channels.

Ernesto:   Yes.

Josh:  So it would be $16 per month in addition to the $43.

Ernesto:   Uh, $16 … err … right.  That would put you around $60 per month.